News Flash: Men And Women Are Different.

I attended a women’s conference recently.  Now, most ladies will back me up when I say some such events are absolutely enlightening.  Others can be, well, downright boring, but not this one.  The females in the room were an interesting mixture of younger and more mature (not “old”), career women, retirees and new workforce members, moms and daughters, and everything from community college students to seasoned professionals.  Now, don’t get me wrong - I really like men.  In fact, I mostly congregate with the male species.  But, spending a day engaging with truly intriguing women was inspirational.  One speaker pointed out that women and men are “different”.  That statement tickled me and I embarked on a trip down Memory Lane. 

The recollection was of 1970’s Texas, where I was chosen Lions Club Queen after being put on the spot before a room full of middle-aged male Lions with the impromptu question “Do you believe in Women’s Lib?”  My naïve but honest response was: “Well, ya know, I have learned that men are different from women,” which greatly amused this group of gentlemen.  Before I knew it, I was sporting the coveted Lions Club Queen tiara.  Even better, the Lions patted me on the head and awarded a college scholarship.  Now, fast forward a few years later when, with the help of that scholarship, I entered law school.  Remember now, this was the ‘70’s, so the practice of law was pretty much reserved for the boys - specifically, the good ole boys.  The local newspaper ran a sweet photo of a smiling, long-haired young lady with the headline “A Stag Affair”, breaking the earth-shattering news that the all-male legal community would soon be infiltrated with a female once I graduated from law school.  Becoming a lady lawyer in a man’s world was a tremendous challenge that turned out to be a great move for me in the long run.  And, I guess it’s pretty clear evidence that I do, indeed, like the company of men. 

But, back to the women’s conference, where we laughed out loud as personality tests revealed novel ways to deal with friends, co-workers, family, and nemeses.  We paid rapt attention to a financial expert who spoke to us like a girlfriend about serious monetary considerations unique to women.  The grand finale’ featured Heloise, as in “Household Hints from Heloise”, whose mother started the infamous 1950’s advice column which the daughter has turned into a thriving enterprise.  So, from retirement accounts to professional partners to recycling office supplies, we shared stories as only women do. 

I am reminded that the differences between men and women are as old as Adam and Eve.  As Dr. John Gray puts it, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”, and I happen to like it that way.  (Incidentally, best-selling author Gray is a native Texan, which probably accounts for his vast common sense.)  Yes, I do love and enjoy the men.  Yet, once in awhile it’s refreshing to have pure woman-to-woman encounters, just to trade recipes for success.

Forgiveness

Our family got together for Easter Sunday.  And I’m guessing the Presidential family did the same, since the White House Easter Egg Roll wasn’t until April 1^st, the day after Easter.  I don’t know about the Obamas, but my family’s assembling for Easter was a little unusual, because we normally convene the entire clan only at Christmastime.  I am pleased to report that the day was happy and enjoyable, especially for a family which has more than its share of bosses and very few subordinates. 

Honestly, we are a pretty normal group, with close-knit relationships.  Yet, we are also human beings, so we have our share of long-remembered resentments, chips on the shoulder, and just plain grudges.  Some are months old, some decades.  However, our core foundation is a loving family unit which has been cultivated for many generations.  That is why, throughout the years, we've forgiven each other many times over.  Then, the thought bubble pops up over my head:  Maybe Easter is an appropriate time for more forgiveness! 

So, using myself as a guinea pig here, I think about absolution from the perspective of my own life – not an easy task.  But, I do realize forgiveness has two sides.  There’s the forgiving of others’ transgressions against me (whether they really did it or I just think they did doesn’t matter.)  I know that for many of us, there is no hurry to let go of ancient grievances.  And, the fact is, according to my newfound interest in ancestry.com, many generations of Texas genes should take most of my relatives into our 80's, 90's or even over 100 years old.  So, we have plenty of time to defer “forgive and forget” until we feel like going there.  That’s when the guinea pig on my right shoulder whispers “what better time than now?” 

Then, further into my self-examination, I recognize the other side of forgiveness, when I sheepishly recall those blurbs that slip from my lips before I can grab them and stuff them back into my mouth. What my sweet spouse calls “flashfire temper” when angry thoughts spout off the tip of my tongue, which tongue cools off almost immediately, but leaves behind scorched earth.  And that, my friends, is a perfect example of why we also need to try to forgive ourselves.    

It seems to me that there is no more perfect time to contemplate forgiveness.  After all, that is the essence of this family Easter celebration - that the sins of Christians are pardoned through the sacrifice of Jesus.  It is the quintessential opportunity to forgive our wrongdoings against each other.  And, while we’re at it, perhaps we may even forgive ourselves for our own failings.

Even though he’s only thirty-something, performer/songwriter Matthew West puts it pretty well when he sings, “There is no end to what its power can do.  So, let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of grace.  The prisoner that it really frees is you.  Forgiveness.”